Puck Bunny Diaries

The Psychology of a Man on ice

Hello! Bunny la Bounce here coming to you live from Znado Chara's hockey skates where I've been able to set up shop, do some writing and get the inside scoop to why the Boston Bruins are so tall. And so aggressive. And why they love the dirty old trick of face-washing the other players with their giant gloved hands, and the attempt of sticking one of their grimy gloved fingers into the mouth of a Vancouver Canuck (who is probably just asking them what colour of icing they prefer when they bake them cupcakes) As we are now half way into this Final Series where Lord Stanley will be raised by either a Giant in Yellow or a Swede in Blue, I couldn't quite figure out either team's “game play”. So I find myself in the locker room, hoping to understand the B-Men from B-town (is that street?) and what could possibly be going thru their minds right now.

As Chara's head slides along the ceiling and bumps into a door frame and Milan Lucic does Clubber Lang sit-ups on the floor (the extra angry ones) I take down notes of what is in the air here in Bruin World, from how the Bruins have made it this far, to what has kept them in the fight against the Canucks.

Here is my list of “Top 10 Things I heard from Chara's hockey skate”

10 – When the f*#k is my kraft dinner gonna be ready! Its my favourite pre game meal :)
9 – I really hope Luongo breaks ... something. One of his bones.
8 – To help us skate faster lets pretend we stole all of the Canuck's beers. Wait. Lets actually steal their beers.
7 – I wish Vancouver wasn't so far away. Damn.
6 – Sometimes my legs get soar after a game. But I'll still have sex with your wife if she's up for it.
5 – We have to create more chances and not let Vancouver play their “finesse game.” Pansies.
4 – We are representing a Franchise from the Original 6, that's a big deal. Right? Original 6? or was there 7. Ah, doesn't matter... Where is my kraft dinner!
3 – Chara to Kesler “I must break you”
2 – Chara to Burrows “You will lose”
1 – I hope the Vancouver girls are sexy and welcome us at the Roxy bar with open arms

Ok, that last one was my own day dream.... those big feisty Bruins are starting to grow on this Bunny.... and so are warts. Damn, should have picked a better sniper spot then Znado's skate.

Speaking of sniping, yesterday I spent the night hiding under Kevin Bieksa's pillow and whether that is legal or not, I did find out some good information. Although, as we all know, hockey players aren't much for “expanding” on a subject... just like non hockey playing men, so here is what I've gathered from my desperate attempt to read between the lines of what these west coast Hockey Players are thinking right now. What is their psychology and how are they coping with the pressure to bring the cup back to Canada... it's rightful owner. Don't forget fans, we aren't watching “The Avengers” at play nor the “X-Men”. NHL Hockey players are just like you and I. They are real people with real emotions and after last night's Game 3 circus, Kevin Bieksa fell asleep to the song “tears on my pillow” and I woke up wet. But I'm used to that....

The mind of an athlete is stellar. You need good nutrition, hardcore training and good genetics. But the power of a good mind set is the main attribute to taking you to the next level in a competition. Here's the scoop for what the Vancouver Canucks have been buzzing about:

“Top 10 things I heard from underneath Kevin Bieksa's hotel pillow”

10 – If anything, at least we are the sexier team.
9 – I think beating San Jose was awesome. And now if we beat Boston, that will be awesomer.
8 – If Lucic puts his fingers in my mouth one more time, I'm going to bite it off and put it in the cupcakes I make for him.
7 – I wish Boston wasn't so far away. Damn.
6 - When the f*#k is my kraft dinner gonna be ready! Its my favourite pre game meal :)
5 – We gotta get pucks past Tim Thomas. Who calls their child Tim when his last name is Thomas?!
4 – We might be smaller than the Bruins, but we are faster, better passers and have green guys who wiggle their ass at you when your ass is in the penalty box.
3 – Tim Thomas makes me want Tim Hortons
2 – Hey Bruins, you like losing, right? Ya, I thought so. 1972 was the last time, right? Yikes.
1 – Original six? Original dic*s

And there you have it folks. The latest scoop from this Bunny to you. Who will win game 5 and game 6.... and the possible came 7.... who knows... but all we know is that Chara is tall, Kesler is sexy and Vancouver and Boston are far away from each other. Next week I will be reporting live from Ryan Kesler's jock strap. Take care, stay safe and stay sexy, hockey fans.

Playoff time = Sexy time

Hello! Bunny LaBounce here, and I just got in from the crazy street of Downtown Vancouver where horns are honking, Loungo is on the back of every man's, woman's and child's jersey, beer is running low on tap and high fives have turned into accidental face slaps. The playoffs here in Vancouver have gotten off to a sexy start.

The Vancouver Canucks have dominated the first two games in the first round of their series against last years Cup raisers, The Chicago Blackhawks... who, by the way, had aborted Vancouver's chances in the last two play off seasons....but this year Chicago is a different team and Vancouver is a better team. Even though Chicago did put up a good fight here in game 2, the Canucks have smoothly transitioned from President Trophy winners to play off round 1 leaders. Loungo's shut out in the first game, and the couple of insanely magical saves he made, stated he is now in “Warrior Mode.” We saw it last year in the Olympics, and now we are seeing it again, one of the leagues' best, at his best. And nothing supports a team better then a high functioning goalie keeping the energy up! Vancouver owned the first game. The second game, of course The Blackhawks came out with gusto and revenge, but in the high scoring game that it was, Vancouver's still was able to stay on top throughout the whole game. I like a team who likes being on top. Wink. With game 3 being in Chicago and a possible 'turning point' game, the Canucks kept it cool and played very well, even though Chicago played their best game of the series with Patrick Sharp looking oh so sharp. Canadeins west of Manitoba... jump on the band wagon... we'll make room.

Another exciting first round series are the Montreal Canadeins vs the Boston Bruins. Carey Price was another goalie with a shut out, generating great heat for the start of this series. Maybe we ruled out Montreal a bit early for slagging the last few weeks before the playoffs, I didn't expect them to come out as strong as they have. But taking the first two games has thrown a log on the fire and this will be a good series to follow for the Canadeins east of Manitoba.

In the series with the LA Kings and the San Jose Sharks the boys have it the easiest for travel... no jet leg or sleep deprivation excuses for these two teams. Common, California Boys, lets see heat!! You blink and you are in each others' Arena's... they could take the bus for $2.50. Well LA's Jaret Stoll is going to have a good rest since being suspended for his dirty hit on San Jose's D-man Ian White. I like dirty, but Stoll's hit was too early for that dirty, in this Bunnies opinion. Speaking of dirty, Buffalo and the Flyers; tons of penalties.... boxing matches.... high scoring games, these guys are pushing and going hard to the net. I am in love with this series match up.

Detroit is making Phoenix look like the Calgary Flames. The Red Wings are spanking the Coyotes. So we are looking at a likely Red Wing vs Canucks for round 2 series. Will be a good series to watch because these boys will have a few days to rest... but surely their momentum won't be detoured because these are too very matured teams that seem to have a system that works. Focus, seasoned and eye of the Tiger.

I have the eye of the Bunny. Just as dangerous. I want the Canucks to win, so, Detroit... I'll see you at the Roxy bar. I'll buy you a drink!

Canada vs the World

Hello! Bunny LaBounce here, scooping on the latest in the hockey, hooky and hickey world.

Speaking of hooky, big news! Sidney Crosby who has been playing hooky since January 5th, showed up to his practice the other day with the rest of his penguin buddies. Sid the Kid's date of return is still unknown and his nurse will be confirming when she thinks he is ready (no, he's not ready yet *wink). I can't wait 'till this young gun can fire back because he's one of the best in the league and there are still blank pages needing to be filled in the history books.

Speaking of hot Canadiens… wait, not Montreal with 3 losses in a row and no goals. Thanks a million Chara, I blame you for everything. At any rate, this leads me into today's topic. Canada vs the World.

I've been having a lot of debates with my fellow Puck Bunnies about where the hottest hockey players are from.

Here is my Top 10 list.

Canada:                           World:
Sidney Crosby                 Mattias Ohlund - Sweden
Mike Fisher                      Ryan Kesler - USA
Eric Staal                   Henrik Lundqvist - Sweden
Kevin Bieksa                    Teemu Selanne - Finland
Sean Avery                      Markus Naslund - Sweden
Antoine Vermette              Ales Hemsky – Czech Republic
Jose Theodore                 Chris Chelios - USA
Patrick Sharp                    Dominick Hassek – Czech Republic
Carrie Price                      Evgeni Malkin - Russia
Jason Spezza                   Alexander Ovechkin - Russia

Now I was a bit forgiving on with the "World”, making it less about looks and more about the sexiness of their play. but Sweden, I'll come visit you if Lundqvist and Naslund are around. Overall though, I have to say Oh Canada! you have the hottest guys in the NHL, and if any of YOU guys and girls out there disagree and can find hotter NHLers, please lemme know… this Bunny always likes to have a few more names to focus her binoculars on…

Thank goodness that all of teams in the league are all held together by Canadian studs since it seems that only 2 of our national clubs will make the playoffs this year (the Canucks and the Habs). Calgary and Toronto don't seem like they can pull it out of their jockstraps this year, the Flames don't show up until the 3rd period (and so what if they beat the Oilers on Saturday? It's not like they're going to represent Alberta in the post-season). And the Leafs, well I guess this makes 6 years in a row that you'll miss the playoffs. Why can't you win Leafs? Why?

Edmonton and Ottawa… bottom of the league, you guys need a spanking. I know Oilers, you have a young team and you're rebuilding, but you've been rebuilding since the 90's with little success. I expect big things in a couple years, Taylor Hall and Jordan Eberle, here's looking at you kids. Two years is all I am giving you guys, and if you still suck I'm firing your bosses, I have this power as a Puck Bunny *Wink. Senators, same excuse eh? rebuilding. So you trade Fisher and Ruutu in hopes of a fresh stock. Ok, well hopefully this works out for you so the City of Ottawa can start playing Carrie Underwood songs on the radio again.

Dear, Vancouver Canucks.

We all believe you can win the cup, so don't screw it up! Oh, and don't go to the Roxy nightclub, leave that as a booby trap for the other teams. Don't be distracted by beaches, patios or the tight tank tops(sorry about that one). Make sure the Sedin twins are well fed, happy and are protected from any cracks in the side walk. Luongo, I hope you are getting daily messages (if not, give me a call), and for the rest of the team, meditate, sleep well, practice hard and again STAY AWAY from the Roxy!

Chronicles of a Puck Bunny

I don't know how the ice isn't melting, because the steam coming from all of those skates, the fire shooting off those sticks, and the burn makes left in the net keeps reminding me what time of the year it is... Mating season! And yes, the Playoffs are just around the corner. Vancouver Canucks and the Flyers are at the top of their conferences; well played, boys. All of this top and bottom action, teams switching spots day to day, confirms the time of the year where we all hop on the band wagon of our “next favorite team”. I hop all over the place. I'm a Puck Bunny. With play off season only weeks away, the teams are getting frisky as they are fighting for the last spots in each conference. And oh is there a tight race going... this is one of the most exciting times of the season for this Bunny because passion and intensity are always left on the ice. Alas, it is also the saddest time of the year for Bunny because some of the hot faces she loves seeing on the ice will soon disappear onto the warm acres of green grasses with golf clubs in hand... good bye Sam Gagne and Jason Spezza... I'll see you in October.

Calgary Flames who are neck and neck with Anaheim for the 8th seat, got to battle it out on Sunday night. The teams took it into over time. Calgary gains points for me for coming from behind... after Kiprusoff was told to hit the showers since he let in 3 goals within the first two periods, the team pulled up their socks and fought to tie up the game. Although the overtime goal was scored by Anaheim, these teams are pretty evenly matched and it will be interesting to see who will make the final seat. My vote would be for Calgary, not only because they are a Canadian team, but also a much hotter looking team. But, as we all know, Calgary has never really been a “playoff team” and will be gone first round anyway. Not hot.

What I do find endearing is when teams that have no chance of getting into the play offs, still show excitement after they score. Adorable. I guess the Edmonton Oiler guys are just trying to sell themselves to another team, maybe? But I'm sure the Oilers are headed in a good direction since they have been bottom feeders for a few years in a row, they get all of the good draft picks. Or maybe Pronger will come back! Haha his wife won't let him. Wink.

Another big topic is whether or not the Leafs will make it into the playoffs. A part of me wants them to, and a part of me doesn't. And another part of me almost wants to see them win the cup, just to shut everyone up. Although everyone needs that team to pick on, and the Leafs seem to be the punchline of unflattering jokes, maybe the Universe will come to their defences and 2011 will prove to be a playoff season full of surprises.... I hope so since it's been a bit predictable these last few years.

The Canucks are riding high at the moment and I'm sure they will glide through the first and second round, and it would be great to see them go all the way. Top of the league, the Sedin twins keep getting better and better, and even with the amount of injuries they've had to bench, the team still rocks on. Bring the cup back to Canada... Canucks, you are my only hope. Although the Canadiens are looking pretty good, I'm not sure what kind of heat they will generate come play off time.

Hopefully these next few weeks as the players become more aggressive to solidify spots, the teams will play with love and grace for the game. Enough with the head shots and unruly behaviour. Bunny doesn't like it when she sees her men lying on the ice. It's a game of stick, puck, net in the end.

So, again the next few weeks should be interesting to see who can keep a spot in their conference and who slip up and move down. My bets are that everything will stay the same, Anaheim and Buffalo will keep their spots, the Sabres and The Blackhawks will stay seated in 7 th. Which ever teams have to hit the showers with their heads held low, that's alright, I will meet them there. Win or lost, they are all still sex on a Hockey stick to me.